Sexy smart and Over 40

Over a year ago, I looked for a site that talked to me. Me being over 40! I went onto certain magazine platforms, news pages, blogs, brands and there was nothing that spoke to me about being over 40, except if I needed to worry about incontinence, retirement or health insurance.  Really!  Plus all the over 50 TV Ads had actors looking like they were 90 in little grey cardies going golfing. Really? Is that all we do?

I am over 50 and I’m nothing like that. In fact all my friends who are over 40 and beyond are nothing like that. Nothing was relative and I was feeling frustrated and invisible!

YET it was that spark which gave birth to Mrs V Society – so a useful frustration it seems.

This shocking revelation led to me seeing how women over 40 were ‘invisible’. Where were all the Sexy, Smart & Over 40’s?

We weren’t on TV ads as models, we weren’t online, there was some beautiful older actors who had aligned themselves with brands such as L’Oreal and then only this year, a year after creating my site, Iris Apfel was brand ambassador for Blue Illusion. Personally something didn’t sit right with the campaign and I felt like I didn’t want her aligned with that brand, she wasn’t that woman, she suits brands that are iconic, unique, enduring, and most of all timeless, such as Chanel, Sonya Rykiel and the like.  Apart from the advertising misconnect it was good that advertising was gradually including women over 40 and in fact over 80.

I constantly researched, where was the thinking woman, who dressed stylishly, who was sexy because of her confidence, her spark for life and her age defying attitude?


Over the last year I have sat in on so many meetings with women and men both and over and under 40.  It’s interesting that the young women understand they will be one day over 40 and they want to feel GOOD about getting older, they want to know that jobs will offer equal opportunities and that they don’t need to look like wonder woman to be sexy and smart. They understand confidence, and sexiness is a state of mind! Our Influencer Jane Caro said in my interview with her, “there’s no mind sexier than that of an educated over 50’s woman.”  I agree and I can only agree in the shoes of someone who understands the journey you gain from living life.

I haven’t met one person who has had an easy life, rich or poor, everyone has challenges physically, mentally, emotionally and these challenges deepen our wisdom and our life force. The only difference I see with a successful life, is someone who has self-belief, who understands that self-acceptance is the most important ingredient to getting through the natural ups and downs in life.

Getting older for me has been such a tapestry of emotions. I feel anxiety of being able to support myself as I get older and how health becomes so important. I now understand why older people talk about health all the time but having said that, I want to be informed but I don’t want it to dominate me to create fear. I see my body change and sometimes it just jumps up on you and you get a fright of how you’ve changed.  I also see my spiritual centre become deep and strong and with that my confidence builds as I use the tools I’ve spent half a lifetime learning. I know now that I will always learn, every moment and every day, but with that humility comes a wonderful strength that is new and inspiring for me.  Something I want to share with the world. Beauty to me is something that does dwell within and needs to be nurtured and trusted.

Are you sexy?  Yes, because sexiness is not just about sex, it’s about life force, creativity, hope, self love and sharing a spark of you. 

Find your smart, that doesn’t mean you have to be intelligent, it’s about finding and trusting your natural intuition and understanding about life. The fact that you have lasted until now, with all your glorious scars and joys along the way, you are here to share your journey and help other young women find their stories.

Sexy, smart and over 40? You bet ladies. Xo

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